Choosing Well

I’ve always been drawn to the idea of having options. From a young age, my father (the late John D. Thompson, Jr. - among the first Black state legislators in Ohio) gave me advice that shaped how I think about freedom and decision-making:

“Don’t let anybody box you into a corner,” he told me. “You can walk away from a situation you don’t like if you’ve created options for yourself.”

That idea stuck. Every academic and professional path I’ve taken -- every degree, training, and certification -- has been something I wanted to pursue, yes. But they’ve also been about building options that have given me space to move, pivot, and choose.

As a result, I’ve never been afraid of making choices.

Trust me, I’ve made plenty of mistakes and I’ve felt stuck, sometimes for months on end.

Yet I’ve always trusted that I could choose again. That has always grounded me in decision-making.

Not everyone feels that way. In fact, a lot of people, especially students and young professionals, feel completely paralyzed when it comes to making a decision. And truthfully, a lot of adults do too.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to make the right choice. As if there is only one path, one answer, one door that leads to a good life. And all the others lead to failure, disappointment, or regret.

But here’s something I come back to again and again in my work as a coach, teacher, and human being:

Most of the time, there isn’t a right or wrong choice. Each choice just brings different experiences.

Sure, there are choices that are clearly harmful or unethical. Though most of the time, we’re not choosing between good and bad, we’re choosing between paths we cannot fully predict.

We’re choosing with incomplete information. We’re choosing as ourselves now, not as our future selves. And that can feel really difficult.

So how can we choose well, not by eliminating all risk, but by showing up to the decision with clarity and courage?

Here are some perspectives and practices that help me, and the students and professionals I work with, approach decisions with more ease:

1. It’s normal to feel uncertain or even fearful.

Especially with life-altering decisions. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re human.

2. You always have choices.

Even when options feel constrained and you have little control, you still get to choose your mindset and how you respond.

3. You probably have more power than you think.

Some options may be expensive, inconvenient, disappointing to others, or even painful, but they’re still yours to choose.

4. Take judgment off the table.

If no one gets hurt and no values are compromised, ask: which path feels most aligned right now?

5. Tap into your body and intuition.

Visualize each option. What does your body tell you? Where do you feel resistance? Where do you feel flow?

6. Stay open to options you haven’t yet imagined.

Sometimes the best path is the one you haven’t yet considered. Don’t box yourself in. Be open to possibilities that may not seem logical right now.

7. Talk it through.

Most of the time, the answers are already within us. But a trusted coach, therapist, or friend can help us quiet the noise, gain perspective, and hear that inner voice more clearly. It's not about getting the answer from someone else, it's about creating the space to find your own.

8. Trust yourself.

Even if a decision leads to an unexpected or painful experience, that doesn’t mean it was the wrong one. It means you’re living a full life. Lean on your community for the support you need.

You don’t need to find the “right” choice. You need to find the next aligned one.

💬 What choice are you wrestling with right now? What would shift if you viewed it as an experience instead of a test?

👉 If this blog resonates with you, let me know. I’d love to hear what’s on your mind.

Be well,

Janet